The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
