You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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