I'm drive I can fine osifer
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize