I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
