Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
