Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize