I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
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He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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