i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
