I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
