: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
