so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
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