Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
