Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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