I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
