i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
