Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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