ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
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We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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