We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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