I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
