DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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