We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
