Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
