Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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