o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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