I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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