the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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