i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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