is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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