just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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