Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
