I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
