Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
