Whod you bang
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
