2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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