It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
