apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
