PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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