How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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