guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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