Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
