His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
