did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
