I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Sponge bath it is.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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