I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize