I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
