I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
