Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
