Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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