after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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