i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
