OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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