Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I love you.
Bad choice
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
