barbara walters just said penis...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
