Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Found the puke drawer
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
