Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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