I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
