ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
