Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
