actually, I'm a sock model
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
