Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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