omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
