from now on my penis is your penis
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
