We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
