I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i believe in u and ur pee
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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